Grocery Shopping with Kids

When my youngest son was a toddler, he loved to ride in the grocery cart that was shaped like a truck. And I loved for him to ride in the grocery cart that was shaped like a truck ... it meant while he was busy "driving" and beeping the horn, I could get in and out of the store without too much trouble. One day, while I was pushing my cart down the spice aisle looking for dried basil, I noticed the look of horror on the face of an oncoming shopper. I glanced down to find my son standing atop the truck's hood, balancing as I made my way through the store.

Ahhh ... grocery shopping with kids. Whether they're begging for cookies or trying to become a stunt-toddler, taking children to the store isn't always fun. If you must bring your children to the grocery store, there are a few things to keep in mind.

Don’t go to the store near naptime or before a meal. Tired and hungry kids are more likely to have a tantrum.

Make sure everyone visits the bathroom at home before you leave for the store, and ask your child again when you get to the store if he or she needs to go to the restroom before you start your shopping. Whenever possible, shop during one of the slower times for your store.

When my boys were little, I liked to park near the cart return at my store so I didn’t have to leave them unattended in the car or walk across a busy parking lot at the end of the shopping trip. You can also choose a store that offers help unloading groceries so you can concentrate on keeping the kids safe.

Make sure your child has eaten before you go, or bring a healthy snack with you so he or she can eat while you shop.

Set up rules before you go inside, including where you expect your child to be when you shop (walking next to you, sitting in the cart, etc.) and what to do if you get separated. Also establish how many items your child can choose and don’t allow negotiating.

To complete the shopping as quickly as possible, keep kids busy. Coupons can help with that. When kids are young, use coupons and create a bingo game. Attach 16 coupons to a bingo board (you can download a template here.) When your child finds the product on the coupon, they can remove it. Four in a row means your child has a bingo. You can also play I Spy with shapes or colors in the store. This is a good game to play while waiting in a long checkout line.

Older children can subtract the value of a coupon from the price of the product for a quick and easy subtraction drill. Then teach comparison-shopping by asking if the product with a coupon is a better deal than another brand. Older children can calculate savings in percentages and figure price per unit.

Know your child’s attention span and do everything you can to keep the length of your shopping visit within those parameters. If your child misbehaves and has a tantrum, do not feel bad about leaving your cart in the middle of the store and going home. If possible, let a member of the store staff know where the cart is and whether or not you can come back shortly to complete your shopping rip. Zero tolerance for misbehavior sends a message to your child and helps to prevent this from happening again. And be sure to reward good behavior with praise, a treat, or a ride on the mechanical horse. Positive reinforcement helps set the stage for the next shopping trip.

Purging Your Purse

My husband and I moved into a house that had an enormous amount of kitchen cabinets. In fact, everyone who visited remarked about how large the kitchen was. I boasted that I had drawers and cabinets that were empty. Less than a year later, every cabinet and drawer was full.

As humans, we seem to have a need to fill empty space. Take a handbag or diaper bag, for example. Chances are, if a woman carries a large bag, she has items inside that she really doesn’t need. That same woman can fit what she needs in an elegant – and tiny! – evening bag.

The first step to lightening your bag is choosing a smaller style. If a small bag just doesn’t fit in your fashion radar, use your “evening bag mentality” and fill it with those things you need. Just because the purse is big doesn’t mean it has to be filled to capacity.

Routinely purge your bag like you would a closet. Take everything out of your purse and put it on the table. With each item, ask yourself these questions: Have this item been used during the past month? Does this item fit the needs of my daily tasks? Can this item be just as useful stored in my car or workplace? Am I carrying this item for someone else? If you answered no to the first two questions then do not put this item back in your purse. If you answered yes to the second two questions, then these items need to be returned to their owner or stored somewhere else.

The glove box of your car is a great place to keep a small sewing kit, a pouch with medications such as aspirin or antacids, a compact umbrella, and an emergency snack to avoid drive-through temptation.

A full handbag isn’t just messy, potential health risks come with toting around all that stuff. The American Chiropractic Association (ACA) recommends that a handbag weigh no more than 10 percent of its owner’s body weight. Place your bag on your bathroom scale; you might be surprised at what it weighs. When carried on one shoulder, it interferes with the natural movement of the upper and lower body.

Here are more tips from the ACA on choosing a handbag to prevent back pain:

• When carrying a heavy purse, alternate it between both shoulders to avoid placing the burden on just one side of your body.
• Empty your bag of unnecessary items each week.
• Switch handbags so you don’t carry a big purse every day. Consider carrying two bags, a tote bag and a purse, and carry one in each hand. Or pack a tote to leave at the office or in the car, with essential items, such as a wallet and keys, carried in a small purse.
• If you buy a big purse, choose one with wider straps, which helps distribute weight over a broader area of your shoulder.
• Buy a backpack-style purse to better distribute the weight.
• If you carry a laptop, consider a rolling bag.
• Make an effort to square your shoulders.
• And listen to your body. A healthy back is much more stylish than any large handbag.

As moms, we tend to put a lot on our plates. In fact, it’s one of the reasons we often feel overwhelmed. Let's look at five habits every mom should break:

1. Anything you do for your children that they could do for themselves.
Kids grow up – fast. Sometimes faster than we realize. And before you know it, your child can dress himself, brush her own teeth and get his own snack. The job of a mother isn’t to be a personal assistant to your child; a mother’s job is to teach a child to become independent. That means showing a child how to use a vacuum, then letting them vacuum the living room. It’s not going to look perfect. It might even get messy. But that’s when you show them how to clean up a spill.

2. Saying yes, when you really mean no.
Guilt, pressure and the fear of disappointing someone are common reasons why moms allow others to put extra helpings on their plates without saying, “No thanks, I’m full.” Before you say yes, ask yourself these questions:

• Am I saying yes because I would feel guilty if I said no?
• Is my gut reaction to this request “how can I get out of this?”
• Am I saying yes because I am known as the mom who always says yes?
• Am I saying yes because my friends have said yes?
• Will this event bring stress to my family life?
• When the event is done, will I be most glad that it’s over?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you should not say yes to this request of your time. Remember, saying “no” also applies to your children. Saying no helps them understand that they can’t have everything they want.

If you’re not sure if you want to say yes or say no, don’t feel panicked into a definite answer. Reply with, “Thanks for thinking of me. I’ll have to check my calendar and get back to you by (give yourself a deadline).” If the person persists, then say, “If you need answer right away, I’ll have to pass so you can find someone else who is sure they are available.” Live with the decision – yes or no – in your head for the day and make your choice based on how you really feel. When you tell a person no, remember that you don’t have to justify your answer. You’re just obligated to give them a polite one.

If you need help remembering these questions, be sure to print out our free B.U.S.Y. Mom Bookmark (shown at right). It helps you make the right decision ... before you say yes!

3. Making excuses for your child.
“He didn’t mean it. He just gets so excited sometimes.”

This is the excuse I received when a boy at our weekly playgroup clobbered my son over the head with a Little Tikes golf club. The boy’s mom then told her three year old, “play nice,” and continued on with the conversation she was having with another mother. Seriously?

I don’t know if it’s the embarrassment that their child is not perfect or sheer laziness, but many parents make excuses instead of making their child take ownership of the action. The good, the bad and the ugly: children need to take credit and consequences for their actions. This is how we become responsible adults.

4. Not asking for help.
For whatever reason, moms often think they can and should do it all themselves. The simple fact is – whether the mom stays at home or combines work and family – moms need help. In fact, we’re better parents when we get it. You’ve heard the phrase, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Today’s village expands beyond city borders. Whether it’s family, friends or an online community, moms need a network where they can find everything from support to hand-me-downs to advice … as well as a safe place to vent! This mom village – aka network – is a great way to cope with stress.

Be sure to check out our very own village, The Five-Minute Mom's Club, where you'll find five-minute solutions to the tasks that cause you the most stress as well as a place to share your tried-and-true tips!

5. Putting yourself last.
It’s no coincidence we saved this habit for last. Last is what moms do best. Instead, we let everyone else go first. We do without. We take the broken one. Enough already!

Moms are often stereotyped as being frazzled and desperate. And sometimes we are. We live in a world where we often spend more time taxiing kids from one after-school activity to another than we do taking care of ourselves. It’s important for moms to take some of the focus off of their children and put it back on themselves. How do you do this? By taking yourself seriously. You are a mother, but you’re also a woman, wife and friend. It’s vital that you take care of yourself. If you feel good about yourself, you will do a better job as a parent.

Start by scheduling “me time” in your planner. Whether it’s a daily workout, a few minutes alone with a cup of tea or a monthly day of shopping or lunch with friends, when you commit to taking time for yourself you take the first step in reclaiming yourself.

If this seems impossible, refer to number four!

Reinventing Holiday Traditions

Bake gingerbread men. √
Take kids to see Santa at the mall. √
Get a family photo for this year’s holiday card. √

Chances are your family has lots of events and traditions that get checked off at this time of year.

When I was a child, our holiday tradition was to gather on Christmas Eve and have homemade pizza. My Nana was a great cook and she would spend hours in the kitchen making homemade dough and assembling pizza toppings while the rest of us played cards.

While holiday traditions can be wonderful, they can also add stress to the season. For me, it wouldn’t seem like Christmas Eve without pizza, but I don’t want to be stuck alone in the kitchen. So, I reinvented the tradition.

Today, my husband and brother in law are the chefs and the rest of us gather and chop lots of different toppings. We sit around the kitchen island, have a glass of wine and watch the guys have fun tossing the dough and creating several pies for us to sample during the night. Everybody gets exactly the toppings they want and no one person is stuck in the kitchen being the cook.

Holiday traditions are important. They give families a sense of connection and provide the foundation for childhood memories. By continuing your family’s traditions, you give your children a first-hand glimpse into your own childhood. But if they cause you so much stress that you don’t enjoy them, what’s the point? I suggest that parents take a look at their holiday plans and traditions and find a way to salvage the joy.

Here are my top five ideas for reinventing family traditions:

• If hosting an annual brunch or dinner leaves you anxious for weeks, consider changing the format to a potluck. Or change the menu to an evening of dessert and coffee, then hit your warehouse club for bite-sized sweets and brew a pot of decaf. Pretty dishes – paper or china – will make the evening feel warm and elegant, even if you didn’t use your oven.
• Trying to settle squirming (and often complaining) young children during a performance of the Nutcracker isn’t enjoyable. Consider postponing this event – or any other that requires a long attention span – until it is more age appropriate. Skip the show entirely or check your area’s events calendar to see if there is another performance geared for young children that would be more hands on or participation friendly.
• If baking holiday cookies seems like torture, consider store-bought dough or pre-baked gingerbread men that you just decorate instead of bake from scratch. Or bake items that are made an entire batch at a time, such as brownies, fudge or lemon bars. You can also negotiate with your friends and arrange a cookie swap where you each bake a large batch of one item, then divide it up evenly so you get to enjoy several different treats without having to dirty several different bowls. Easier yet, place a visit to your local bakery (the staff can be very discreet!)
• Holiday cards: Why is this job often delegated to just one person? Make a night of it with some warm cider or eggnog and turn a chore into a fun evening. Split the list for lickity split. Or create a family assembly line. You can take this approach to wrapping gifts, too.
• Never shop alone. Make a date with your partner or a good friend, kick it off with a light dinner or lunch, and power shop until everyone on your list is crossed off. Or, make all of your purchases online and have items shipped directly to the recipient wrapped.

Holiday Meal Planning

So many plans are made during the holiday season: dinner parties, cocktail parties, neighborhood cookie exchanges, maybe even a girls’ night at your place. But what about plain ol’ breakfast, lunch and dinner your family eats in the midst of all of the excitement?

Whether you need to plan holiday dinners or everyday meals, a good place to start is by getting rid of kitchen clutter. Here are some tips from Julie Sheldrup, host of Meal Planner 101, to help simplify (and de-stress!) your holiday season.

List Your Family’s Favorite Meals: Write down at least 15 of your family's favorite meals. If you get stuck, ask your family members. These don't have to be elaborate, tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches work great as well as planning breakfast for dinner with hotcakes, eggs & bacon.

Create a Calendar: The holidays come quickly and the days fly by when you're busy with festivities. Normally you may plan meals one week at a time. However, when the holidays arrive, it’s smart to plan for the entire holiday period. Starting with Thanksgiving and ending after New Years, create a six-week calendar dated November 23 through January 3. You can use a computer or a simple sheet of paper, whatever works for you. The end result should be a central location for your six-week meal plan. Now, start filling in the blanks with events. Record dance recitals, Thanksgiving, your kids’ Christmas vacation, the holiday office party, cookie exchange, etc. Be sure to include items such as dentist appointments and sporting events. These events will serve as a guide for choosing meals.

Build a Meal Plan: Concentrating on dinners first, fill in a meal from your Family Favorites List for each of the nights you will be at home. On busy days, plan something easy. It also helps simplify the week if you group meals with like ingredients together. For example, if you need chopped onions in the spaghetti recipe as well as in the black bean enchiladas, put those two meals within a few days of each other and you'll only need to chop onions once. Use the same process for breakfasts and lunches. The schedule can be flexible; if you want to switch Monday's plan to Thursday, no problem. The point is to go to the grocery store once and get all your ingredients for the week.

Choose a Shopping Day: Choose one day of the week, and make it Grocery Shopping Day. Write it on your meal plan calendar and commit to it. Consistency is key. Choose a day and time, and stick to it! For me, Monday morning after dropping the kids off at school works best. I’ve found that this point can make or break successful meal planning.

Write Your Grocery List: Suppose you've chosen Monday mornings to do your shopping. Sunday night (or sometime before) needs to be your Transfer-the-Meal-Plan-to-the-Grocery-List day. Set aside about 15 minutes in your kitchen and, using your meal plan, evaluate what ingredients you already have in your pantry/refrigerator/freezer, as well as what you need. This list will ensure you get everything you need for the week in a single trip to the store. This not only helps save time and money, but it also gives peace of mind.

Shop ... Eat ... Enjoy! You’ve made your plan, now it’s time to shop, eat, and enjoy! My hope is that your holidays are filled with family, fun and joy! And who knows? Maybe you'll enjoy meal planning so much you’ll use it to reduce your stress all through the year! So Plan, Shop, Eat. But most of all, Enjoy!

Thanks, Julie! Julie Sheldrup is busy mother of three and host of Mealplanner101, a DVD that offers tips for successful meal planning. If you enjoyed the tips in this little video sample, you'll love the entire DVD. Purchase it by visiting www.mealplanner101.com.

Organizing Your Child’s Closet

Something about an organized closet and dresser just makes me happy. Maybe it’s because getting dressed in the morning is so much easier when I know right where to find my favorite turtleneck and trouser jeans.

So how do you set your kids up for success when it comes to getting dressed in the morning?

Take a seat. Literally, take a seat in front of your child’s closet and you’ll see the dilemma through their eyes. When it comes to organizing and storing your child’s clothing, closets and drawers just aren’t kid-friendly. Hanging items are hard to reach, and clothes kept in drawers are easily messed or missed.

When it comes to closets, spare the rod and spoil the child by ditching hangers and using hanging closet organizers instead! My 9-year-old, Nick, uses two hanging Closet Clothing Organizers to store his sports uniforms, shirts, pants, hats and sweaters. Each section is labeled (we have sections for school clothes, play clothes, long sleeved shirts, shirt sleeved shirts, etc.), so he can easily get dressed in the morning and easily put away his own clothes on laundry day.

The trick to keeping it neat is rolling his clothes instead of folding and stacking. This is most helpful with his shirts; Nick can quickly identify each shirt and even pull one from the bottom without disrupting those on top. Use this same trick with drawers; instead of stacking clothing vertically, place items inside as you would in a filing cabinet, rolling shirts and pants so children can see all of their items at one glance.

We use the closet rod to hang dress shirts as well as out-of-season clothing. And we have a small set of drawers inside his closet to hold socks, underwear and pajamas.

If your child needs help selecting clothing in the morning, the Closet Clothing Organizers are perfect for organizing outfits for an entire school week. Simply assemble clothing for each day – everything from shirt to socks to underwear and hair accessories – and fill each of the five sections, making mornings easier. The patterns are decorative and perfect for a teen’s bedroom, making that open closet door not such an eye sore. Matching Collapsible Cubes are available to store out-of-season items.

If you have upper and lower rods, use the lower rod to hang your child’s everyday clothing and store out-of-season or not-the-right-size-yet clothing on the upper rod. Take a cue from retail stores, and use Closet Clothing Dividers that you can label by clothing type, day of the week or size (perfect for an infant’s or toddler’s closet).

Store shoes in a hanging Closet Shoe Organizer, so they are up and off of the floor. You can utilize the floor space with Collapsible Cubes for toys, bulky clothing, dress-up clothes or dirty clothes. I've found that when my children have an easy to use place to put their clothing and toys away, they are able to keep their closets neat.

Remember, the more you can help your child to help themselves, the less work on your plate.

Packing the Perfect Lunch

Ahhh, the school cafeteria. It’s where kids first learn the fine art of negotiation. To ensure your kids eat what you packed (and not the mom down the street), here are some tips for packing the perfect lunch:

First, check your school’s guidelines. Some schools have a strict no-junk-food policy. Others have adopted a nut-free environment. Make sure your child stays on the right side of the cafeteria law.

For stress-free morning routines, pack lunches the night before. Be sure to ask for some input from your child. When children have a say in what goes into their lunch box, they’re more likely to eat it. Older kids can even pack their lunch themselves.

Remember most schools allow only 15 or 20 minutes for lunch. Make sure the foods you pack are easily opened and easy to eat.

Include foods from at least three of the five food groups. This not only is healthier, but it provides variety. For example, pack a slice of cheese, grilled chicken strips and grapes. Or send a hard-boiled egg, mini whole wheat bagel and carrots.

Small foods are easier to handle, and they can be more fun to eat. Cut sandwiches into four pieces, or use cookie cutters to make creative shapes. Kids love baby carrots and a sliced apple is more likely to be eaten than a whole one.

Skip the white bread. Instead, use crackers, mini bagels, small pita pockets or tortillas to create a unique sandwich.

Prepackaged lunches may be popular with kids, but they’re expensive and often not very nutritious. Create your own using nitrate-free lunch meats, real (not processed) cheese and whole wheat crackers. For even more kid appeal, use cookie cutters to make fun shapes.

Kids love “action” foods. Consider packing fruits or vegetables with yummy dips. Or thread pieces of fruit or cheese on a craft stick (safer than a toothpick), creating a mini kabob.

Remember food safety and keep hot foods hot and cold foods cold. Use a frozen gel pack or freeze a juice box or water bottle (be sure to ask your child if it had thawed by lunch time) to keep sandwiches and pudding from spoiling. When using an insulated thermos, rinse it with hot water before adding your food to keep it warm longer. Label your containers with these great personalized waterproof labels.

Bag the brown bag and choose an insulated lunchbox instead. Even better, let you child choose his or her lunchbox. (I remember how proud I was to carry my Monkees lunchbox; I never let it out of my sight and took exceptional care of it.) Make sure the lunchbox you choose is large enough to hold sturdy plastic containers for fruit or crackers. They’re not only earth-friendly, but they ensure food won’t get squished. Check out our great selection of lunch boxes.

And take a minute to connect with your kids. Include a small lunch note, smiley face on the napkin or another special token sure to make your child smile.

Creating a Routine

I have a confession to make: I have TomTom tendencies. I feel the need to stand over my children calling out directions like a GPS.

I was having a parent vent session with my husband, remarking that our boys wouldn’t brush their teeth if I didn’t tell them. Why? I asked. Why? And then it dawned on me as I was maneuvering the streets of Chicago using a GPS to find my way. I could never find my destination again because I wasn’t learning the route; I was simply reacting to the commands.

Pulling the plug on GPS mornings isn’t easy. Kids might feel lost at first, but it is possible to show them the way and put them on autopilot. Here’s how:

Think of your own morning routine. You most likely do the same things each morning, perhaps even in the same order, without even thinking about it (and hopefully without being told!) This is a routine, or habit. Establishing a routine takes time – about three weeks, actually.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-Cybernetics, discovered this technique: devote 15 minutes a day to forming a habit you wish to establish and do this faithfully for 21 days. By the fourth week, it should actually be harder not to engage in the new behavior than it would be to continue doing it. According to Dr. Maltz, the key is that the 21 days need to be in a row. This is probably why your child (or mine, at least!) doesn’t get into a good morning routine; our weekend mornings are completely routine-free.

To establish your child’s routine, start by writing down tasks her or she needs to accomplish. Engage your child by having them help make the list. Use paper (laminate it to make it sturdy), index cards, a White Board or a Good Habits Job Chart, and hang it where your child can see, such as the bedroom door, nightstand or the bathroom mirror. For young children, include pictures. It might help to have your child check off the task with a dry erase marker or flip over the index cards when each task is completed. Make sure they don’t come to the kitchen unless all of the items on their morning routine are done.

In the beginning, your child’s routine will be more like a daily to-do list. But the difference between a to-do list and a routine is that a routine becomes a natural course of action, done every day without prompting.

The key to your child’s success is to stay out of the way. It’s like learning to ride a bike; if mom or dad continues to hold on, the child doesn’t learn balance. If you have TomTom tendencies (like me), this will be hard. But it’s the way children establish routines.

Handling the Mail

When you're a kid, getting mail is like hitting the lottery! Is there anything more exciting? When my oldest was a preschooler, he was a big Blue's Clues fan and his favorite part of the show was mail time. We'd sing the song – "Here’s the mail, it never fails. It makes me want to wag my tail. When it comes I want to wail - Mail!" – and see who could wail "mail" the silliest.

Fast-forward to adulthood and the mail is more of a chore than cause for celebration. This month's Project of the Month comes to us from Janine Adams, owner of Peace of Mind Organizing in St. Louis. She helps us Get Control of Our Mail:

Do you have piles of mail on the counter or spread around the house? Do you find yourself dreading dealing with the mail? This month's project will help you create a simple system and routine to handle your mail on a daily basis. If you handle your mail six days a week for the month of July, you'll be well on your way to creating a habit that will keep your mail under control forever.

Step One: Create an Action Box

I recommend buying an attractive desk-top file box that will accommodate hanging file folders. Make sure it's no more than six inches deep--you want to keep it small so you don't lose stuff in it. Put eight or so hanging file folders in the box and have tabs ready to create new files. Now start going through a pile of accumulated mail. Throw out everything you can (junk, catalogs, etc). What's left is probably stuff that requires action or reference. And that's probably the stuff that ends up in a pile because you don't know what to do with it. Sort that stuff into categories and create files for each category. Examples might include:

• Bills to pay
• A file with each family member’s name
• Upcoming events (for invitations)
• Schedules (for soccer schedules, club meetings, etc.)
• Action (for things that need to be done)
• Coupons and gift certificates

Your categories should be customized for your mail. Simple as that. There's no right or wrong way to do this, as long as you're interacting with the box on a regular basis.

Step Two: Use Your Action Box to Work Through Your Backlog

Gather up all your accumulated mail and start going through it, filing things into their Action Box categories as necessary. Get rid of as much as you can. (If you haven't looked at it in ages, maybe you don't need it.) This may take you a few sessions. Once you’re finished and your backlog is cleared, all you have to do now is handle your mail on a daily basis.

Here's the most important thing to remember about the Action Box. It's an Action Box. That means you have to interact with the contents of the folders. Nothing should languish there. So pull out that Action folder and do the stuff in it. Keep on top of the contents of the Bills to Pay folder so your bills are paid on time.

Step Three: Use Your Action Box When the Mail Comes Every Day

You can greet the mail carrier with a smile, because you now know what to do with the mail. Throw out the junk, shred what needs to be shredded, sit down with your Action Box and process the rest. Don't let the Action Box get full. If you find it's hard to add mail to it, that you means you need to go through it. Chances are you'll find stuff in there that either is no longer meaningful (like expired coupons) or that you can act on right now.

Once you set up your Action Box and interact with it every day, you'll find the paper piles disappearing. Celebrate Independence Day by liberating yourself from piles of mail this July.

Janine Adams, CPO®, is owner of Peace of Mind Organizing in St. Louis, Missouri. Together with life coach Shannon Wilkinson, she offers Declutter Happy Hour, an e-course to help people free themselves of both physical and emotional clutter. Be sure to sign up for Janine’s newsletter.

Traveling With Kids

Here's a dare for all of the parents planning on traveling with kids this summer: Leave the DVD player at home!

The immense success of in-vehicle DVD players can be chalked up to four little words: Are we there yet? And what mother doesn't cringe at the thought of a long road trip with young children? While popping in a movie may be an easy solution to travel-time boredom, it doesn't have to be the sole entertainment for the trip.

My friends still think I'm crazy, but one of our best family vacations was the one we took when our DVD player broke – 20 minutes into the trip. We learned a lot about each other in the eight-hour car ride.

In today's fast-paced world, car or plane rides are one of the rare opportunities families have to spend time together without outside distractions. Take advantage of this time by talking, playing games and reconnecting. Here's what we did:

We talked. If you need a conversation starter, check out KidChat by Paul Lowrie and Brett Nicholas offer fun and imaginative questions. For example: If you could ride on the back of any animal, which would you choose and why? Or, What is something most adults do that seems silly to you? (My son thinks my before coffee/after coffee transformation is hilarious!) Your child's answers might surprise you, and sometimes the questions serve as a catalyst for more meaningful discussions.

We played games. You probably played travel bingo as a child. Purchase a ready-made version or create your own. Or check out the super-fun Rubberneckers series.

We made a scrapbook. Pack art supplies, a lap desk and a disposable camera for each of your children. My boys assembled their scrapbooks on the way home and created a great show-and-tell for school.

We listened to a book on CD. Visit your library and choose a title the whole family can enjoy. I checked out Encyclopedia Brown, which is a series of short whodunit mysteries. Listening to an audio book uses more imagination than watching a DVD and can also be enjoyed by the driver. On another vacation, I chose a book that was one of my childhood favorites, Ramona the Pest by Beverly Clearly. It was fun listening to it again and fun to watch my boys experience it.

We were silly. We created a funny story by letting each family member take turns adding a few words or a sentence. Start with “Elsie was the talk of the barnyard because she was a cow who could … ” and see where your family takes it from there.

As parents, we spend weeks – even months – planning family vacations, booking hotel, researching attractions and charting routes. It's easy to overlook the fact that filling up your travel time takes planning, too. Sure, DVD players are great travel tools, especially if your journey is long. But with a little planning, families will find that getting there can be half the fun!

Be sure to download our free Packing for Children Checklist so you bring just what you need (and not what you don't!) The list is compliments from our friends at List Plan It.

Spring Cleaning

Spring is time to sweep away winter and welcome in warm breezes. While many parents find it easier to tackle jobs alone, spring cleaning is a ritual in which children – even the youngest ones – should be included.

Children who are age two to five can help by picking up their toys and putting them away. Spring is a great time to sort through toys and books and decide which ones can be donated. If your child has separation anxiety about their belongings you may save this job for nap time or reward their generosity by giving them "big boy" or "big girl" replacements. They can also help by trying on summer clothes and donating items that are too small.

Children this age are also great dusters. Remember, you're not looking for perfection, just participation! Show them how to sort items for recycling, such as newspapers, cardboard, plastic and aluminum, and create a designated recycling center in your home to make this job easy. They can also clear their own plates from the table and put them by the sink.

Children age six to 10 can help by wiping cabinet fronts, emptying trash cans, sorting laundry or cleaning sinks. These children can feed the pet, help prepare meals, set or clear the table and empty the dishwasher.

Older children can also help younger siblings with their jobs. This will allow them to be a leader as well as establish a feeling of teamwork in your home.

When children reach age 11 to 16, they're ready to vacuum, mop or even scrub the toilets (sometimes the “nastier” the job, the more appealing it can be!) This age can also walk pets, prepare meals, load the dishwasher, wash clothes and even do some ironing. Remember don’t assume that because they’ve seen you do these jobs, they know what to do – and what not to do. Be sure to give them a lesson in how to work the dishwasher – and which detergent to use. You may have to show children more than once and it wouldn’t hurt to post a quick reference guide where they can get answers quickly.

Children in middle school and early high school should be encouraged to do jobs around the neighborhood, as well. These kids make great babysitters, lawn mowers or dog walkers.

The teenage years are often when kids take their first job in the "real world." But that shouldn't mean they stop participating in the family chores. Older children can help with big jobs such as rolling up rugs to bring outside, filing away papers that have accumulated on kitchen counters, taking clothing to the dry cleaners or bringing donated items to Goodwill or the Salvation Army. If they are good drivers, they should also be called upon to bring younger siblings to sports practices or home from school.

Remember the satisfaction you get when you check an item off of your To Do list. Give kids that same feeling by creating a To Do list of their own. Whether you get a sturdy chore chart or use a chore pad, your children will feel a sense of accomplishment as they complete their tasks.

Children should participate in routine cleaning because they are part of the family. But other jobs are best rewarded with an allowance. Only you can decide an appropriate amount. You can also reward jobs well done with a special treat, such as later bedtime, favorite dessert or an outing. Chuck E. Cheese offers a printable clean room chart at their web site, www.chuckecheese.com, and give10 free tokens for kids who bring in signed sheets.

Set a routine and stick to it. And make it fun. If you bark orders, you teach children that housekeeping is a punishment. If you talk about how much you hate cleaning, your children will hate cleaning, too. Instead, use chores as a team-building tool and remind your family members that they’re all part of the clean team. Set a timer and challenge your family to beat the clock. Create a light atmosphere by making chores into a game with a book like Spintastik.

It’s important to teach children that every member of the family must help. While it’s sometimes easier to just do it yourself, remember that you are teaching your children skills they’ll need when they’re adults.

Holding a Family Meeting

If you’ve ever felt that your family just isn’t on the same page, it’s time to incorporate a weekly family meeting into your schedule. Family meetings can save you time, frustration and that dreaded “you were supposed to pick the kids up from school today” phone call.

Start holding family meetings by implementing a quick connect held each week on the same day. Lorie Marrero, founder of The Clutter Diet, says families are often together in the car on Sundays going to church or dinner; just grab your wall calendar, family planning pad or clipboard and talk on the drive over.

A quick family meeting should cover the basics: what’s on the calendar for the week ahead and what are everyone’s responsibilities.

Once you have gotten into the family meeting habit, Dr. Michele Borba, author of No More Misbehavin’, suggests enhancing the format, with parents assigning and rotating roles – secretary, timekeeper, snack monitor, etc. – so everyone participates. Establish ground rules based on your family. Here are some to get you started:

• Everyone attends
• Everyone listens
• Everyone participates
• No put downs are allowed
• No TV, music, phone or video games during meetings

Create an agenda that includes the key points that you wish to cover. Be sure to have your family calendar and weekly responsibility checklist on hand. And plan some fun; Dr. Borba suggests serving snacks and starting with a compliment circle to acknowledge good things everyone is doing. Close the meeting by repeating action steps that family members need to complete.

Family meetings are among those teachable moments we parents hear about. Dr. Borba says they’re the prime opportunity to teach problem solving and conflict resolution. She suggests creating an agenda box, where anyone can suggest a problem to tackle (sibling rivalry, revising a curfew, chores) then use those for meeting discussions. The majority wins and every vote is the same.

Our Family Meeting Book by Elaine Hightowers and Betsy Riley is a great book. It’s out of print, but you can find used copies on Amazon as well as through your local library. The book includes 52 write-in agendas for you to use at weekly meetings throughout the year. Make a copy for each person who attends. It also shows you how you can set and track goals during your meetings.

Hightowers and Riley suggest that parents allow the kids to moderate once meetings are well established, letting each person take a turn at leading the meeting. They also encourage you to include fun activities, such as games, jokes, stories or songs.

Finally, don't hesitate to call an emergency meeting. When a crisis strikes, don't wait until your regularly scheduled date.

Keeping in Touch

“Keep in touch!”

We say it all the time. But saying and doing are two different things. One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is receiving cards, especially if they include photos. Wouldn’t it be nice to touch base with friends more than once a year?

What you can do to keep in touch with friend and family depends on how much time you want to spend.

What can I do in five minutes? Pick a friend, any friend, and pick up the phone or send an email. My best friend from high school once complained the only emails she got from me were the few and far between that I forwarded. How impersonal! She’s right. You don’t need a reason; just make a commitment to reaching out to someone at least once a month. It’s as simple as that.

What can I do in an hour? Create and maintain an up-to-date contact list of friends and family. If you struggle locating an address when sending out cards, take the time to establish an address book. Choosing the right system is subjective. Whether it’s an address book or electronic database, be sure it has space to record important information and that it offers the ability to make changes. If you prefer an electronic option, making updates is seamless. Just be sure to back up the information on an external drive. If you prefer the convenience of an address book, use a pencil to record (and erase) information or use white label to cover old information, and choose a version that has the ability to add or remove pages. Another good choice is a business card holder. If your friend doesn’t have a business card, buy some blank cards that you can use in your printer or simply cut a piece of paper to fit the space. Updating information is easy; simply replace the card.

While emails and direct messages are a quick and convenient way to keep in touch, nothing beats a hand-addressed envelope in the mailbox. Whether it’s a birthday card, thank you card, get well letter or a note for no reason, try to send at least one snail mail a month. Stock up on all-occasion greeting cards and store them in a greeting card organizer.

What can I do if I want to make Keeping in Touch a priority? These days, people have more than just an address and phone number. Take an afternoon and collect all pertinent information on each of your contacts. Enter cell phone numbers, fax numbers, email and AIM addresses, birthdays and anniversaries, the person’s children’s names and birthdays, as well as social media contact information such as Twitter, Facebook or Linked In IDs.

Organize your address book by category; record all of your child’s friends in one location, your girlfriends in another, Christmas Card list in yet another. This makes it easy to sort through addresses when writing birthday party invitations for your son or calling the girls to remind them it’s Bunco night.

When gathering information, it also helps to identify the person’s preferred method of contact. Some people are email junkies; others rarely check it. Some friends might invite a late night phone call and others prefer that their phone doesn’t ring after 8 p.m. By knowing the best way to keep in touch, you don’t waste your time.

Even with all this organization, you may still need help remembering important dates. Register at one of a few websites that will send you an email to remind you of important dates. Visit www.memotome.com, www.forgetfuljones.com, or www.getinherhead.com – three sites that will send you an alert for free. Another site, Big Dates, will not only remind you, but will send a card out for you. This site charges a membership fee, which ranges from $9.95 to $15 per year.

Remember, keeping in touch with friends is one of the best gifts you give yourself. Journalist Linda Ellerbee sums it up well when she said, “In the coldest February, as in every other month in every other year, the best thing to hold on to in this world is each other.”

Are The Toys Taking Over?

January's Project of the Month came to us from Lorie Marrero, Certified Professional Organizer® and creator of the Clutter Diet, a membership program that helps busy people “put their homes on a diet” with affordable organizing advice online from a team of experts:

A wise Montessori teacher once told me to think about how I feel when I go into a Chinese restaurant and there are over 100 numbered menu choices to look at for dinner. It’s overwhelming! It’s much easier and simpler when there are fewer things to choose from.

This overwhelmed “Chinese menu” feeling is the same feeling your children have when they have a giant playroom full of toys on every shelf. They don’t even know where to start, so they end up taking out a bunch of things at once and making a big mess.

Limiting your children’s choices can make them more comfortable and happy in their playtime and reduce clutter.

Here are some ways to do this:

• Rotate their toys periodically. You can have a couple of boxes stored out of sight where you keep some things they have not been interested in for a while. You can switch out the toys as often as you like; something like every other month is great. It’s really fun for the kids to see things with fresh eyes and appreciate their things all over again. And if they don’t appreciate them when they haven’t seen them for a while, that is a clue that you should donate those toys.
• Don’t buy so many toys in general. Kids today have way too many toys—-we see this very often in our work with clients. Make sure you’re not being too indulgent in buying things when there is no occasion for it or no achievement to associate to a reward. There is a fantastic parenting book about this called Raising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World. Remember that people generally appreciate things more when they have had to wait for them or work for them.
• Go through the toys with your child before birthdays and holidays. Behave as if you have limited space for the toys and you have to get rid of the old to make room for the new.
• Avoid toys with lots of pieces and parts. For several years, I had to negotiate the rent of my home from the Lego people that populated it and outnumbered us. We had Legos out the proverbial wazoo. It may be unavoidable, but do think about this when you are buying something like a big animal zoo play set. There may be a less-clutter-prone alternative!

Here are some general guidelines for organizing toys:

• Do not use a big gaping toy box. This is very overwhelming and makes things difficult to find. Often these get dumped out altogether or rooted through! Better to use several smaller containers and group toys by type if possible.
• Most toys are not well-stored in the original boxes they came in from the store. With a few exceptions, these boxes are designed to ship and sell the toys, not store them. It’s usually better to cut a picture of the toy off the box and use clear tape to attach it to a new container.
• Use pictures for labeling if kids do not read yet. A combination of words and pictures is ideal. It’s easy to find pictures of your toys on Google Images, or just cut them off the original box as described above.
• Keep things at their level. For safety reasons and for ease of use, make sure you look at the room from “kid level” and optimize the storage for them.
• Use baskets throughout the house to collect strays. Keep a medium-sized basket near the door in each room to collect the toys, and regularly take these baskets back to a centralized toy storage area like a playroom.

Simple solutions and fewer choices for the kids mean less cleanup time and more quality time. It’s worth investing your time to manage the toys instead of letting the toy mess manage you.

Lorie’s Simple Division® Garment Organizers product is carried here in our online store, and her products and companies have been featured in national media such as Family Circle, Better Homes & Gardens, and Woman’s Day. She is a writer, spokesperson, and speaker and is the mother of two very tall teenage boys. Click here to get affordable help from Lorie and her team!

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